No Girls Allowed

My son is going through some major changes right now.

It's not what you might think it is at first. He's 6.

"Turk" is tall and skinny, wishes he had more muscles, and, thanks to the Olympics, practices handstands against his bedroom wall every night. But even with all his practicing, he is still skin and bones, just like me when I was 6 (and 11, and 15....*sigh).

While Turk is going to have to wait until puberty or beyond to gain some muscular definition, he is dealing with another major change right now. Fifty-seven days ago, he was the youngest of two. Now he's the 4th youngest of five.

Yeah, you read that right. He was the youngest of two, and is now the 4th youngest of five.

On July 10th, my wife and I adopted three sisters into our home. They are 7, 6, and 4.

So add to those three new sisters the older sister that Turk already had, and he is now well-outnumbered by girls in this house. He and I both.

Overall, I would say the transition is going very well. I found this on his bedroom door yesterday:

(No girls allowed)

Ah, change. It's the one thing we can always count on.

Dad. For Real.

I really didn't want to start a blog. I have too many other things to do.

And I don't really read blogs. I don't even read the newspaper (that I paid for!) that shows up at the end of my driveway five days a week.

But ever since I was little, I did want to be a Dad. It's not like it was my consuming passion, but I knew that one day I would get married and have kids of my own. That childhood dream became a reality ten years ago when my wife gave birth to our daughter, Widdy.

I became a Dad for real.

Almost four years later, we welcomed our son, Turk, into the world. We had the "complete" family: a Dad, a Mom, a daughter, a son. We even had two dogs.

Raising our son was not the same as raising our daughter. There are many things I could say about that, but I will put those things in later posts of their own. Turk is different than Widdy. Obviously, there's the gender thing, but he's also just a completely different person. The parenting "skills" we brought to the table with Widdy didn't work at Turk's table. It's not that he's a bad kid or tough to parent, he's just different. Or maybe Widdy was so different and Turk was more average. Whatever it was, I had to adjust to meet the individual needs of two separate little people growing up in my house.

I had to be deliberate. I had to be a Dad for real.

Last year, our "complete" family underwent a major overhaul. We took the plunge and got certified to adopt.

When adopting, everyone has their own ideas, hopes, goals, disappointments and dreams. In the end, everyone's story about their adoption process is different. I'll share mine in later posts.

Today, I have five kids. Bubbles, Piper, and Sunni joined our family two months ago. In another four months the adoption will be finalized,

and I will be their Dad for real.

I love being a Dad! For real, nothing brings me more satisfaction in life than interacting with my kids. Every stage of their lives is a new adventure, a first step, a hurdle to overcome and a mountain to climb. There are great joys, deep frustrations, and vast imaginations.

And there's family kisses and huggles.*

The reality of being a Dad, especially now to five kids, has impacted me in countless ways, which is why I am starting this blog. If I don't write these things down somewhere, I will forget them. But more importantly, I want to share with my kids, their kids, and a few other Dads, that

being a Dad for real is about making every moment count.

I don't have it all together.

I don't have a master's degree in "Make Your Kids Happy and Successful By Their 18th Birthday."

I'm learning as I go. Maybe some of the lessons I learn can help another guy --
              maybe you,
                           maybe my son,
                                        maybe your son --

be a Dad for real.

*Huggles- A combination of hugs and snuggles between Dad and the kids.